Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong

I've had better days

I got the call from Dr. P about 2 hours ago and I'm officially NOT pregnant. All that stuff didn't take. Yes, we're very disappointed. Not exactly the results we were hoping for. There's not much to do at the moment, I need to get my period to get back on track etc. We'll go see Dr. P. after the holidays to determine if there's anything else we can do, what our options are etc. In the meantime, I just have to try and cope with all of this. I refuse to believe that all my eggs are bad but yet maybe they are. I cannot accept that I was only meant to have one child. She's gorgeous, fun, funny and truly the joy of my life but I still can't believe that she's all I'm meant to have. I haven't felt positive since yesterday and this is probably why. I was not trying to be pessimistic, just realistic. The odds were not in my favor from the beginning and simply got worse as we went along. I think I'm also angry and that I feel like this whole process was a huge waste of money for nothing. I feel like we've wasted a lot of time (6 months to be exact) with all the testing to determine what's wrong (nothing according to the bazillion tests), then wait for my cyst surgery, bla bla bla. That clock has been ticking very loudly and now this. I'm not really sure what do to right now other than cry it out for awhile. And then call in January to see the Doctor. I guess this puts a little damper on the happy part of the holidays this weekend.

But in an totally unexpected, huge moment, Carly went on the potty today all by herself!! Yes, she's been going when we start to catch her and she's VERY slowly getting it. But today, she was walking around without her diaper and the next thing we know, we hear the happy music of her potty. We asked if she did anything and she said "Yup, I went pee pee." I go to check and sure enough, there's stuff in there. All by herself! No prompting from anyone. We're SO proud of her. Hopefully, this is the start and she'll figure it out in the next week or so. Now, I have to go clean up the thousands of packing peanuts she dumped on the floor, crumbled up and made confetti out of.

posted by Juls @ 3:08 PM