Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong

Not as great as we hoped for...

It's been a bit of a rough day today.

When I spoke to Dr. P. yesterday, we had 8 embryos cruising along. They were going to do PGD and we'd know the results when i went in this morning. Well, the results weren't exactly what we were hoping for. 7 of the 8 had abnormalities. The last one has a possible abnormality but they can't say conclusively. They might have seen something on one of the chromosomes but they also acknowledge that it could be a shadow kind of thing so it could be a false-positive. So, after quite a few tears and a VERY uncomfortable full bladder (that was awful), we decided to transfer the one. Hopefully it will stick and then, assuming it does, we'll do a CVS test at 10 weeks to see what the real deal is and then make whatever decisions, if necessary, at that point.

The ultrasound Dr. was very sympathetic and he said we made the right decision. And my Dr. was great too. She was disappointed and never would've expected this but it also explains our previous difficulty in getting/staying pregnant. Needless to say, I'm quite disappointed. Lots of tears and with the full bladder (I had to drink a full liter of water, without peeing, in about an hour) I was a mess. Luckily, I was a littl "too full" so I could elminiate some of it which helped the pain but not the emotional, obviously. I'm having a little trouble coming to grips with this whole concept that basically my eggs are no longer "good". Makes me rethink my entire life and my age, etc. It also means that we don't have to deal with the IVF thing again because after removing 12 eggs and basically 11 weren't good, what's the point of going through the whole expense and shots again. Sure we could get pregnant on our own but that's only one egg (as opposed to the multiples taken the other day) and who knows if that would be good. I'd like to think that my body "knows" what's good and will accept accordingly. So I'm trying to take it one day at a time and be positive that this one sticks. So that's pretty much my story, as I'm laying here on my bed with my laptop. I'll need a few more weeks of positive thoughts and prayers. And today, I'm even more grateful for my beautiful C.

posted by Juls @ 8:52 PM