Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong

It's raining... on a lot of parades

And I love the rain. We haven't had much of it but we're in the middle of 3 predicted days so I'm happy.

And for those that will scold me for being up so late, I'm pumping and G is dealing with a screaming M downstairs. After 6 ounces of formula (we do one bottle for weight gain purposes since I don't seem to be producing enough and feel like I'm nursing around every 2 hours and it's not enough), she's still not sleepy. Grr.

Other than the usual sleep frustrations, we're doing well. G is FINALLY back in town after the Superbowl Halftime and being gone for 10 days. There were a few rough days in there for me particularly one night when M was up essentially from 2-6AM. Yeah, that was fun. Then Hayden's been a crankpot for a few days which was equally thrilling. I don't understand how they can be up half the night screaming and pitching a fit and then still not nap the next day. Things that make you go hmm... or make you want to jump from the roof. We take them to the doctor on Monday for a check up. I'll give the weight gain update then. I know they're gaining, we'll just have to see if it's to everyone's liking.

I've also feel a little sad the last few days. Nothing serious but just a few disappointment things that make me feel like we're letting C down and she doesn't even know what's going on. We've been wanting to sign her up for soccer. She's not an athletic child by any stretch but she needs to exercise (don't we all?) and it would be good to try an organized sport. We didn't sign her up in the fall because of a miscommunication with one of the moms so we hooked up with some other friends to sign her up for the more relaxed spring league. Well, because of birthday cutoffs, C can't play on the team we signed her up for that would be with her friends and with a Dad she knows well who's the coach. G got into it with the head of the league who was being quite the dickhead on the phone. Even if he wasn't going to bend the rules (which he didn't), he was extremely unsympathetic and wouldn't even listen. So that's why I think mean people suck. The only option is for C to play on a team in the next age group but she'd know no one on the team. So not only would she be learning soccer from scratch, which is the point, and trying to learn the game, she'd be doing it with no one she knows. If you know my kid, she doesn't take well initially to unfamiliar situations. We know that she won't be comfortable and simply won't do it. I did talk to one of the other moms from school today and she's got her kids doing soccer through the Y which it looks like might be a better option for us. Also a "looser" spring league but she'll know people on the team which is all she needs to be in the comfort zone to even try it. We know she won't become the next Mia Hamm but we want her to try it for one season.

Then today, I spoke with a mom from school and it seems that she's pulling her kids for next year and several others are as well. We all realize the financial stability of our wonderful little school is a little precarious and that the school was given a financial bailout by several families to ensure it's status. This financial infusion ensures that there will be a school for next year and through 2012 but it's understandable why people can't deal with the stress each year. There are issues like will there be 1 or 2 first grade classes and it looks like there may only be 1. That's a problem for my one good friend who has twins and needs/wants them to be separated. I get that. Then she tells me there are probably 4 other kids in the current kindergarten not coming back for various reasons. We're all paid up for next year, we're fine with it and completely believe in the school and what it's done for C. But still, it makes me sad. This school is so wonderful and has been so enriching for C in every way. The above mentioned shyness wouldn't go over well in other situations and at HW, she's been nothing but nurtured. She's very strong in who she is and her opinions show it, she's the best reader in her class, everyone loves her, she's speaking Hebrew. It's just been a great place for her so it's sad to me that the school is struggling so much. It's sad to me that people are bailing out. Again, I understand why some of them are making that choice, I just wish they wouldn't. C will miss seeing some of her friends even though I know two of the families well and we'll always be friends. I feel sad about that. I hope something works out so that it's all more stable from here on out. We went through a lot of similar BS the last year of pre-school in terms of promising what class she'd be in and then couldn't follow through which is what got us to HW to begin with. I hope we don't have to deal with the uncertainly at this time next year again. Or maybe we start to hedge our bets and start looking in the fall, just in case.

Anyway, between those two big things in 24 hours, I feel like I'm disappointing my child in some way and not giving her everything. I know it's not true. She doesn't know the adult crap with soccer and she'll play, happily, through the Y. And while she'll miss some of her friends who won't be returning, there are still many other friends who will be there and she'll be at a school where she's happy. And as long as she's happy and comfortable, isn't that all that matters? I sure hope so. And I hope my adult overthinking is just that and she never knows the otherwise.

Off to help with a still screaming baby.

posted by Juls @ 2:04 AM